You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
bring money and cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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