Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
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no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
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Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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