I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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