Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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