Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Damn victory sex feels great
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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