He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
