Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
