if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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