Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Be still, my beating vagina.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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