Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
