im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize