So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
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The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
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I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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