She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
