sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
