Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
