Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
