What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
