well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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