his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
