Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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