Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
