Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
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With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Couch. On fire.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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