All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
