My friends, they love my intelligence
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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