I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
