Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
My nipple is on Facebook.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
