I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
