well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
