Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
