Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
