I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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