"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
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