I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
