But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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