I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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