omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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