He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
i now understand why vodka
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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