I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
