i really wish james franco would like my vagina
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
