How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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