Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
