Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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