Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
How many fucks given?
0.12846
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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