I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
