This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
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announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
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He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.