new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?