You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested