He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
