College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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