How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me i tasted like america
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize