We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
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well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
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I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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