drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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