She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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