just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize