went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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