She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
