i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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