i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize