The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize