There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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