Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
