Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
