I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
